Wednesday, January 5, 2011

who you are is not what you did.

It's been a few months since I made the biggest mistake of my life, so far.  Most mistakes, I can honestly say I learn from.  But, what do you do when the mistake is too much for you to handle.  I cheated on my boyfriend of two years with somebody completely not worth it.  The weird thing is, nobody was really disappointed  except myself.  It's like everybody expected it, & I proved them right. Everyone forgave me, including him.  Happy ending, right?  I'm so happy with him, but I'm not happy with myself.  I feel like an awful person and I regret it everyday.  I wish I could take it all back.  I keep asking myself why it happened, and I never can get an answer out of myself.  I don't know.
Now I'm realizing that "who i am is not what i did."  There's so many more things that I am proud of.  One decision does not define me.  I can't let regret take place of the dreams I want to chase.  So I guess that's what I learned from this mistake.
But every once in awhile, it just gets to me.  & I hope one day I can forgive myself.  I think that's the key to most things.  Forgive yourself and remember that life goes on even if you're not ready.

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